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Swing Episode 3: The Exorcism Of Slade Akintola

Beside him stands my mother and around them stands about fifty church members plus onlookers who have come to witness the exorcism of poor Slade Akintola. They are all standing outside at the front porch.

“Spirit of Slade Akintola! Listen to me, your place is with your maker. Ya ga da ga da ga da!” he raps faster than the rounds of a machine gun.

Whenever he commands me like this, I pause waiting to note any difference. But nothing changes. The building does not shake, I don’t feel supernaturally overpowered. You know, to be honest, I don’t think what he’s doing is working.

None of them seem willing to step foot into the house. So for the sake of a little fun, I stroll out from the parlour to stand on the veranda. You should see the commotion. You’d think a riot just broke out from the way the crowd yells and scatters in several directions. But I’ve got to give it up for the reverend. He stands his ground and keeps his eyes fixed on mine.

“I bind you!” he yells.

So I wait again, wanting to see whether chains would actually sprout from thin air to hold me captive. But nothing happens. This is kind of disappointing for me and for a brief moment, I’m actually inclined to go get my cutlass. I cannot really say why, but I just feel the desire to hold it.

I turn away from the reverend and step back into the parlour. The exorcism rituals no longer interest me.

For a while I sit alone in the parlour just gazing at my family photos. I used to be so young and carefree. Such a time doesn’t seem so far behind even though I just realized that my last night was actually five years ago. It feels like a giant prank, all of it. Kind of like something Derrick my elder brother would do.

Speaking of Derrick, where is he now? It’s been five years afterall so a lot must have changed by now. I rise up from the sofa and take my cutlass with me as I head for Derrick’s room. The reverend and his crew are still at it, still calling for the spirit of Slade Akintola. Well, spirit of Slade Akintola is quite busy at the moment so they can all take a hint and swerve.

The corridor is still the same, I muse as I walk down it. And then I pause when I reach my room door. It’s closed and the ‘do not disturb’ sign is still hanging off the nail like I left it before going for my maths paper. I test the handle, wondering whether mom left the door open. She did.

The door creaks open, lending me a sense of anxiety. Mom didn’t touch a thing. My pyjamas is still on the floor beside my reading table. I remember flinging it there. My laptop is still half open although coated with a healthy layer of dust. There’s a curtain of cobwebs draping down from the top of my wardrobe. And I’m scared to approach my bed because from the look of things, I just might stumble upon a full blown rat orgy.

So it’s true. I have actually been gone for five years. But how come everyone thinks I’m dead? I need someone to explain this to me?

Did they find my body? I can’t be dead. It makes no sense. Ghosts aren’t supposed to be visible and they shouldn’t be able to touch stuff, should they?


To prove to myself that I’m still alive, I take off my clothes and step into my bathroom. The bathroom is a disaster. It’s got a serious case of cobweb invasion and it’s transformed into a full blown cockroach capital.

“No!” I yell.

I cannot resist the rage that washes over me as I use my uniform shirt to swipe at the cobwebs and smack at any cockroach in view. Some roaches try to slither past me but I trample on them with all vigour.

And then I turn on the shower.

Water still feels like water, thank God for that. I was scared it would prick my skin or morph me into something grotesque.

As I stand here in the shower, I wish I could stay here forever. I feel so distant from my confusion and the general understanding that my whole world has changed.

I think I must have run the shower for a pretty long time because it stops running all of a sudden. I fiddle with the tap head but it doesn’t respond. The water must be finished.

And then I look at the bathroom window only to notice that the day has gone dark. How did that happen?

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I’m just Samuel, bony faced, laidback, absentminded Samuel. I don’t like to say much, I try to stay out of trouble. Some might say otherwise but that's some for you. Point is we don’t care, let’s just be chill and have fun. So come by whenever and ask me whatever.  It’s our party now and it won't start until your arrival.

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